Affairytale: CJ English

I don't read a lot of non-fiction these days.  But, I just finished Affairytale, a memoir and I am finding that reading it affected me more than my usual read.

Blurb:

I had an affair. The most forbidden and seductive affair, and fell in Love. 

He was a rare gentleman, intelligent and gorgeous; a man every woman desired. Every cell in my body was telling me that he was my happily ever after. 

I was stuck in a marriage of mediocrity, I ached for red silk romance and carry me away passion, but not with my husband. I craved Him. 

Living without him was cruel and unusual punishment, even for my wandering heart. 

Affairytale is a tantalizing memoir of sultry encounters, hidden grottos and secret hillside cabins. From the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes to the Southern shores of Maui you’ll fall in love with this tell-all memoir that pulls back the veil on infidelity and gives you rare look into hearts and bedroom of a real life extramarital affair. 

Woven with original love letters and scandalous text messages, this engrossing true love story is sure to break then win your heart. 

True Love always finds a way. 
Sometimes...it starts with an affair.

Review: 4.25 Stars

A personal story first: When I was about 17, my mom and I were into going to see psychics, having our tea leaves read...that kind of stuff.  Mostly, the readings I was given were bullshit, vague, could apply to anyone kind of stuff.  But, I recall asking one psychic about my love life.  I think I was asking in the context of my boyfriend at the time.  She said something along the lines of: He is a nice guy, but he isn't the one for you.  But, you know that already (note: I knew that already).  The person you're going to marry is named Rob.  He has brown hair.  You already know him.

The psychic described him further, but I don't recall the information.  The parts I've written about stick out to me because, at the time, I could only think of one guy named Rob, a classmate with blond hair.  Also not someone that I ever felt a connection to (my best friend at the time was infatuated with him).  So, I basically forgot all about the reading and chalked it up to more BS.  

A few years ago, something reminded me of the reading and my memory of the information about Rob came back to me.  Holy shit...my husband's name is Rob and he has brown hair.  Only thing is I didn't meet him until I was 19 or 20.  

What would my life have become if I stuck it out with the guy I was dating at the time (i.e., not the one for me) and never met Rob?  Or, met Rob while in a committed relationship with someone else?  The whole idea just makes me feel sad and grateful that it never came to that.  

______________________________________________

This book was a compelling read.  I really wanted to know how things would unfold.  But, the prevailing feeling I had while reading most of it was sadness.  I felt sad about the time lost with the right person; sad about the abusive and destructive relationship between CJ and Levi; sad about Levi's obliviousness of what a healthy relationship looks like and their co-dependency on something so toxic; sad about the affair; sad about Dani being in an environment where her parents are viciously fighting; sad about CJ undiagnosed pain; sad because her true love was there before CJ got married and she wasn't strong enough to get off the train to nowhere that was her life with Levi; sad because Levi is a real person who may not be the best communicator, but may be someone else's true love (I kind of want to give Levi a hug and find him a woman who will happily give him nightly blow jobs); sad because I was waiting for the other shoe to drop with Grant...the list goes on.  

It's just harder to detach from other people's challenges when they're real and not just part of an author's imagination.  I'm glad that things worked out for CJ and Grant.  Being a private person myself, I have a hard time imagining sharing that much of myself with the world and making a name  in the literary world based on an affair. 

Kudos to CJ for being honest (or, at least, her version of things) and not downplaying her ugly behaviour.  I don't fully understand Grant's character -- why was he was ok being with CJ when she was married (he never pressured her to leave her husband)?  He almost seemed to get off on the potential of getting caught.  I was waiting for some bomb to go off with Grant since there was foreshadowing regarding his disaster of an office, canoe full of papers, paying his mom to clean his house, reckless behaviour, trail of exes who weren't "the one"....Those were mostly red herrings.  

Insider: Olivia Cunning

Blurb:

She thought she was ready to rock... 
Toni Nichols put her aspirations on hold while she raised her little sister, but now she's reaching for the stars and living her dreams as the creator of a revolutionary interactive biography about the rock band Exodus End. Creating the book requires her to go on tour and immerse herself in the band's world as an insider, but can she gain the trust of four veteran superstars who've been burned by the media before? Or will her dreams crumble at her feet? 

He's always ready to roll 
Logan Schmidt was born an adrenaline junkie. He lives for the rush he gets from playing his bass guitar before thousands of fans. When he's not performing on stage or in the bedroom, he's looking for his next endorphin high in extreme sports. So what is it about the sweet and innocent journalist on their world tour that gets his heart pumping and captures his full attention? Is she the real deal or is she posing at being his perfect woman to get inside secrets on Exodus End? 

They're both ready to experiment 
Though Toni was innocent the first time she climbed the bus steps, that didn't last long once Logan set his sights on her. He's so much more worldly than she is and she's ready to learn how to please a lover and explore all the ways she can be pleased. Logan can't believe his luck. Toni's a phenomenal woman and she wants him to teach her how to rock and roll in the sack? Not exactly a burdensome task. Until she starts to get too close to his heart and takes her insider look to a place he never anticipated.

Review: 4 Stars

I think anyone that has read the Sinners on Tour Series has been eagerly awaiting the start of the  Exodus End Series.  The former series combines fairly smutty erotica with hot musicians and interesting storylines.  What's not to love?

The first book in the series, Insider, features the bass guitarist, Logan.  His personality reminded me a bit of Eric Sticks in that he is high energy and goofy.  Toni, the female MC, comes on to tour with Exodus End to create a interactive biography of the band, which is kind of a cool idea.  It seems a bit far fetched that she would arrive a 25 year old virgin, only to have that "rectified" within an hour.  But, if you're ready to lose it, why not go for it on a tour bus with a hot musician?

Although some sex scenes are explicit, I'd say this book was fairly tame compared to most of the Sinners' books.  I tend to prefer the insta-love story lines over the extended denial of feelings.  But, I enjoyed this book and am looking forward to the next ones to come.

My one beef was the lack of grovelling.  Toni was, at points, treated poorly by the band, by her mother and by her boss.  She really never took any of them to task.  

Every Which Way

I try to balance out my reading.  I read a serious, chaste book then I'll follow it up with something smutty.  Similar idea if I finish a long read or a multi-series binge.  I'll follow it up with something quick.  That's what led me to read Every Which Way.  After reading Kulti, which was fairly long and limited to two short sex scenes (after a long build up to them), I needed something quick and dirty.  Every Which Way contains five short stories, all featuring various kinky relationships.

Blurb

UNABASHED by New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author Sasha White

She's finally found a man who sees her for the woman she is, and she's not holding back. 

Ian Johnson thrived on training new submissives at Overwatch. He loved helping them explore their kinks, learn their limits, and recognize the power they hold. Then Ronnie Mack strode into the club, and right back into his heart. Now she's his one and only, and he's discovered that training a submissive loves is a whole new adventure.

LOANED by New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author Annabel Joseph

It's all kinky fun and games, until someone loses their heart.
Bettina's Master gets off on loaning her to strangers. Afterward, she's supposed to report back to him with all the raunchy details. It's all kinky fun and games, until one of those strangers decides he doesn't want to give her back...

BOOTS & WINGS by New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author Myla Jackson

When a woman comes between brothers, passions take wings
Pilots, partners and brothers, Jake and Tucker Maddox, are both in love with Molly O'Brien and she's in love with them. Because of their crazy sibling rivalry she refuses to choose between them, and instead walks away. On the verge of losing the best gal that ever happened to them, the two brothers hatch a desperate scheme to kidnap Molly, carrying her away to their mountain cabin where they convince her she can have them both, if she dares

Pin Me Up Proper by USA Today and New York Times Bestselling author Cathryn Fox

Shackles, blindfolds and ropes, oh my...she's not in Kansas anymore.
Bored with the men in her life, actress Janie Monroe is looking for something different. On a whim, she decides to seduce her cameraman, a guy who comes off as a nerdy video gamer. After enticing him at a pin-up photo shoot, she learns that he does indeed like to play, but instead of a game console and controller, his toys are shackles, blindfolds and ropes. Janie soon finds herself immersed in a world of dark passions where her boundaries are challenged and pleasure beyond her wildest imagination is the prize.

ACCEPTABLE RISK by Candace Blevins

Bethany has joked for years that if she ever settles down, it'll be with a harem of men, only it isn't a joke anymore.

Mac is a new werewolf, and still must be watched at every moment to be sure he stays in control. His kink has always been ménage, so when he overhears the beautiful redhead at the bar wanting to take on not only him, but also the werewolf and wereleopard chaperoning his night out... he has to convince them to let him take her home. He might not be trustworthy with a human woman alone, yet, but with two powerful shapeshifters in bed with them, what could go wrong?

Review: 3 Stars

Well, that was kind of different.  The books all feature BDSM or a menage relationship (or both).  They all go beyond hook ups into something more long term.  The stories are more hard core than most other erotica I've read.   They feature themes like humiliation, sadism, menage/harems, masters as well as one story that features a paranormal storyline.  The last two stories were my favourites.

If you're looking for some quick, smutty stories with some edge, this book might interest you. 

I received an ARC copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Uncharted: Claudia Y. Burgoa

Blurb:

Jacob

As a rule, men don’t grow up believing in a happily ever after. We don’t believe in meeting the love of our lives; or the white picket fence, and 2.5 children. Every man thinks that those stupid dreams or fantasies are just nonexistent shit until it happens to them. We should have been forewarned.

I wish I was prepared for someone to appear in my life and change all my priorities. I suddenly wanted that fence and children. The part of meeting the love of my life became very real, but I wasn’t ready for suddenly losing it all, and my life plummeting into this shithole forever.

The heartbreak of losing your soulmate is one of the worst pains you will ever live with. I should campaign and warn the young people. Vaccinate against love because if you lose it, you could lose yourself for the rest of your life. The burden on your back will forever mark you and wither away your soul, darkening your days and the rest of your natural life.

This isn’t false advertisement or a dramatic display of one bitter soul.

Pria

I fought by my mother's side until her last breath, and tried to help my father until his last memories dissipated. My sister is the last one standing, but her life is a miracle that can end at any given moment. All my life I’ve never been alone, but always felt lonely.

Today, my options on how to live my life are endless, yet my heart and my best friend limit them. Stay in Seattle, close to the one person that will never let me inside his world.

The thug, as mom would've called him. A man with a bad boy attitude and a heart bigger than the ocean.

Review: 3.5 Stars

The synopsis for Uncharted drew me in.  I usually prefer to read a series in order, even if each book can be a stand alone.  However, I opted to skip the first two books of the Unexpected Series.  In hindsight, it probably detracted a bit from my enjoyment since I didn't feel the connection to the characters featured in the first two books that I would have if had read them.  But, it didn't affect my understanding of the story.

The book starts off ten year in the past, where Pria and JC meet.  It seems like fate that they keep running into each other.  They connect quickly and deeply.  It's amazing how a simple meeting (or a few days) can change the course of your life.  Sometimes for the better...and sometimes for the worse.      If their connection is fate, the subsequent events show just how bitter fate can be.  Life spirals for both MCs in a way that is frustrating and gutting,

The writing is compelling -- I stayed up well into the night to finish the book.  But, I can't say I liked the storyline.  I didn't like how off track their lives became; much of it hinging on chance and stupidity.

When Ana and JC meet (10 years later), I wanted an explosion - some sort of come to Jesus blow out where the truth is revealed.  That doesn't really happen.  One seriously frustrating thing about the characters is that they don't listen to each other.

"Then you didn't hear a word I said, Jacob," [Mae] utters with an exasperated voice.  "No, you didn't want to hear what I said.  Think about it."

Even when they are giving each other clear insight into how they were affected by what happened 10 years ago, it's as if the other person doesn't hear it.  There's hardly a reaction to what, IMO, should be  pivotal moments.  So, that frustrated me enough to detract from my enjoyment of the book.

At times, there is a quick progression between scenes.  I ended up having to re-read portions to clarify what had happened.  Maybe it's just the formatting of the ARC that tripped me up.

I received a ARC copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Break Your Heart: Rhonda Helms

Blurb:

Fearless and flirtatious, Megan Porter isn't your typical math major. On the fast track to graduating with honors, a spot in her school's masters program is nearly guaranteed. But her senior year is quickly turned upside-down by her new thesis advisor, cryptography professor Dr. Nick Muramoto. Young, effortlessly good-looking, and intellectual, he's far more intriguing than the immature jocks Megan usually goes for. And as she decodes the hidden messages he leaves in the margins of her assignments and in their emails, she realizes this might be more than a schoolgirl crush--especially after they share a passionate kiss...

Soon Nick and Megan grow closer, and their different worlds begin to merge. But if their relationship is discovered, Nick's career could be over. With Megan's parents close to campus on business, hiding their love becomes an even greater challenge. Yet keeping secrets will lead Megan to discover hers is just one piece in a much larger puzzle--next to her mother's stash of painkillers--that may put her carefully laid plans for the future in jeopardy.

Review: 3.5 Stars

Clearly, I am a sucker for student-professor stories.  The consensual, yet forbidden dynamic draws me in.  Break Your Heart was right in the pocket of traditional student-professor stories and from that perspective, I quite enjoyed the read.  I also really enjoyed the moments where Megan and Nick were together, with lust building between them.  Nick has some great, sexy lines.  I really liked the way Nick said Megan's name in his sentences.  Maybe in person it would sound strange, but in writing, it helped to make his words seem more personal.

I have to say, though, that there was something missing in this book for me.  Whenever I read a book and find it lacking in some way, I try to nail down exactly what the issue is.  I don't like to give negative opinions without clear feedback, since I hate receiving negative, but useless, feedback myself.  I think my main issue with this book is that it didn't go far enough in its storyline.  I think there is a fair amount of "wasted space" describing minutia (e.g., serving inconsequential customers, having basic interactions with friends) that do not contribute to the story while glossing over aspects of the story that would be more interesting.

Some places where the story could be expanded were:

- The relationship between Megan's parents
- Some sort of exploration as to why Megan's reaction was often to feel guilty (about her mom, about her friends, about Nick) -- was this just a character weakness or did something happen to give her a guilty conscience?
- Why Dallas behaved the way he did (on the date, throughout the semester, with regards to Nick)?
- What happened during Nick's last described class? Why did he walk in and then leave in that moment (what was the straw that broke the camel's back)?

I'm not saying that all of these points should be elaborated.  But, I think there could have been greater depths to this novel that would have enhanced the reading experience, for me.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Gus: Kim Holden

Blurb

This is the story of Gus. 
Losing himself. 
Finding himself. 
And healing along the way. 

“ … but the honest-to-God truth is I don’t even know how to function anymore. Bright Side wasn’t only my best friend; she was like my other half ... the other half of my brain, the other half of my conscience, the other half of my sense of humor, the other half of my creativity, the other half of my heart. How do you go back to doing what you did before, when half of you is gone forever?” 

Review: 5 Stars

I want a Gus in my life.  I mean that totally platonically (although, it probably wouldn't take me long to develop a crush on someone so awesome).  This guy knows how to do friendship.

This book starts off where Bright Side ended - shattered devastation from losing Kate.  My heart hurts from the loss of such an amazing character.  But even more so for the effect it had on the people around her.  The relationship between Gus and Kate is not something I've ever experienced.  But being privy to their conversations and the memories described through out the book made the loss of that relationship, and Gus's grief, palpable.

Fuck - what is wrong with me?  I am still bloody crying over these books.

Gus basically loses his mind after Kate's death.  I truly wondered how he would ever get to the point of being functional again.  I won't get into spoiler territory, but I will say that if you read and enjoyed Bright Side, you really have to read Gus too.  I don't have the "benefit" of the time that this book spans (over a year) for my heart to heal.  But, I did find some comfort in this book after the devastation of Bright Side.

There are no loose ends at the end of Gus, but I still want more.  Maybe a book for Pax where we get to revisit all of the other characters?  Please.

Bright Side: Kim Holden

Blurb

Secrets. 
Everyone has one. 
Some are bigger than others. 
And when secrets are revealed, 
Some will heal you ... 
And some will end you. 

Kate Sedgwick’s life has been anything but typical. She’s endured hardship and tragedy, but throughout it all she remains happy and optimistic (there’s a reason her best friend Gus calls her Bright Side). Kate is strong-willed, funny, smart, and musically gifted. She’s also never believed in love. So when Kate leaves San Diego to attend college in the small town of Grant, Minnesota, the last thing she expects is to fall in love with Keller Banks. 

They both feel it. 
But they each have a reason to fight it. 
They each have a secret. 

And when secrets are revealed, 
Some will heal you … 
And some will end you. 

Review: 5 Stars

Woah...Book hangover.  I don't think I've ever cried so much reading a book.  Literally, I cried for about 2 hours last night and then (embarrassingly) I cried in the car today thinking about this book.  I'm probably going to cry writing this review.  It would be so much easier if I were a 'slow subtle tears' kind of crier rather than a 'bawl into my kleenex' type.

I often feel conflicted about reading books that have high ratings, but reviews that talk about being shattered by the book.  It is a talent to create characters that you care so much about that your heart breaks for them.  The characters' experiences become so important to you that you imagine the equivalent happening in your own life and...long story short...tears and book hangovers are the end product.

Kate (Bright Side) captured everyone's heart by being the type of person that you just connect with, combined with being charismatic, positive, open, giving and basically everything you would want to be in life.  Sometimes  I meet people that are so awesome, my (perhaps) pessimistic mind worries that something/someone so great can't last.  It feels like the other shoe is bound to drop at some point and I have to guard myself because the plunge is going to hurt.  The plunge hurts in this book.  But, I can't regret reading the book because the sadness of it is proportional to my love for the relationships Kate develops with Kellar, Gus and the rest of her circle of loved ones.

I truly loved Gus and Kellar as well.  We should all be so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives.

Don't let the cover deter you -- this is an awesome book.  A tough, emotional read.  But, worth it, in my opinion.